Are you having another New Years Eve as a solo! Perhaps you vowed last year that you would be a meaningful, serious relationship by now. Sound familiar??? The New Year is upon us. It’s time for a new beginning, new attitude and for renewing our hope of finding love this year!
Life has a tendency to get in the way between work, family obligations, health issues and so on. Here are some relationship questions and tips to get you out of bed, opening up the blinds and getting back on the dating scene in 2012!
1. How do you want your life to look like a year from now? What values and characteristics do you want your romantic partner to have?
Here I am asking you to close your eyes and see your life a year from now. Create a vision of what you want in the next relationship. If you can visualize it, you can have it!
2. What are your dating or relationship goals for next year? (3 months/ 6 months/ 1 year)
Goals need to be written down to make them attainable. I suggest you post your goals at a place you see at least once a day (ex: refrigerator, computer, bathroom mirror). For instance, an example of goals written down is “in 3 months time I will be dating someone steadily, lose 10 pounds and work as a volunteer once a month”. Some of my clients put their goals on their computer- or in their Smartphone.
3. What would support you in achieving your dating and relationship goals for next year?
For instance, would losing weight or having a makeover support you in feeling better about yourself so you would be more confident about going out and dating? Perhaps better time management would give you more time in your day to look for someone and for going out on dates. Taking up a new sport can put you in touch with new people to date. Last, by working with a coach or a therapist, you can get the support and encouragement you may need from an impartial person to take action.
4. What will you commit to doing differently next year that you haven’t done this past year?
Do you need to change your attitude about dating from an uptight perspective to a more relaxed one? Are you willing to be more open and positive about dating? All this will make you more attractive to the opposite sex. Perhaps you need to learn how to weed through suitors better and more quickly. And, how is your rejection tolerance? Are you willing to face your fears head on and be fearless about meeting new people to date this year? Last, give someone a second chance or a second date. You may be pleasantly surprised what’s really there.
5. Who can you ask to help you in your search for a life partner?
There is a whole list of people who can help you: friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, leaders at your place of worship. It’s also a known fact that married women love to fix people up. So who can you approach about setting you up on a date?
My hope is that these questions have pushed you to think outside your box about dating and to try out a new approach or new ways to meeting people. Make sure you first focus on being in a happy place in your life. People think that they will be happy when they find the right person…you know the line from Jerry Maguire, “He completes me!” It seemed so romantic during the movie, but the reality is that no one is responsible for making anyone else happy. Each person is responsible for their own happiness… and finding a meaningful relationship becomes “icing on the cake!”
Have a happy and fulfilling New Year!
Peace & Love, Susan
